North Coast Online

Ya' Gotta Wear Your Seatbelt, Ba-by

New Jersey's Governor John Corzine was seriously injured after his SUV was cut off on the Parkway.  His injuries were worse than they might have been because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt which, it turns out, is required by New Jersey law.  Now, I think seatbelt laws are an inexcusable intrusion into our private lives by nanny government, but, so, evidently, does the Guv.

Corzine, though, has never been known for his advocacy of small government and thus there's the tiniest bit of irony here.  Being a man of the left, of course, we can expect him, upon his recovery, to issue copious apologies to the public for flouting the law and to deliver media-infested lectures on car-safety to young New Jerseyite skulls full of mush.   He will do his penance, it's required nowadays.

I just can't wait, though, to see if his insurance company pays out.

No Smoking Comrade

T-shirts, buttons and posters available here.  Wish I'd thought of it.

There Oughta Be A Law

New York State evidently does not have a monopoly on nanny legislators.

Maryland Del. LeRoy E. Myers Jr. to truckers: If you've got 'em, you don't need to flaunt 'em.

As the General Assembly debates global warming and the death penalty, Myers (R-Washington) has something else on his mind: the outsized plastic testicles that truckers dangle from the trailer hitches of their pickups.

To some truckers, they are manly expressions of rural chic. But Myers, who says his Western Maryland district is brimming with giant fakes on the roadways, calls them vulgar and immoral -- and filed legislation this week to outlaw them.

"People are making a joke out of it," Myers said yesterday. "But I think it's a pretty serious problem. You have body parts hanging from the hitches of cars. We've crossed a line."

As you might expect, the, um, accessory's manufacturer isn't pleased.

He said those who support a ban would do well to recall that 50 years ago, many people in the nation lived on farms. "Did all the little donkeys and sheep walk around with their panties on so children wouldn't see their bodies?" he asked.

The bill's future is uncertain.

If you've never seen what the article is discussing, here's a photo.  I don't believe I've seen any around these parts (no pun intended,) but that likely won't last long.  By the way, the similarity between the topic of this post and the title of the next is purely coincidental.

What's Next?

Here we go again.

First it was cell phones in cars, then trans fats. Now, a new plan is on the table to ban gadget use while crossing city streets.

We all seem to have one -- an iPod, a BlackBerry, a cell phone -- taking up more and more of our time, but can they make us too distracted to walk safely? Some people think so.

If you use them in the crosswalk, your favorite electronic devices could be in the crosshairs.

Legislation will be introduced in Albany on Wednesday to lay a $100 fine on pedestrians succumbing to what State Sen. Carl Kruger calls iPod oblivion.

But can you listen to your iPod while you eat transfats?

We're From The Government And We Want To Help

I usually think of Texas as one of the last bastions of individual freedom and self-responsibility.  JoAnne Jacobs points out that  evidently, that's changing.

Texas parents who miss a parent-teaching conference could be guilty of a misdemeanor under a proposed law, reports the Dallas Morning News.

Rep. Wayne Smith, R-Baytown, said it is time for the state to crack down on Texans who are shirking their parental responsibilities by failing to meet with the teacher when their child is having academic or disciplinary problems.

. . . Under the bill, parents who miss a scheduled conference with a teacher could be charged with a Class C misdemeanor and fined up to $500. Parents could avoid prosecution if they have a “reasonable excuse” for failing to show up. State education officials or school districts would probably be left to define what’s reasonable but, for example, a medical emergency would probably suffice.

I guess it's just more proof that it takes a school board to raise achild.

What If The Elephants Are Paid A Living Wage?

OK, so we know all about the cellphones, the motorcycle helmets and the prohibition on trans fat.  This morning we heard about regulations specifying minimum weights for models and tonight we read that our esteemed Common Council will consider banning circuses with lions, elephants and "other exotic animals" from performing in the City. 

Lately I'd been somewhat complimentary of Buffalo's elected leaders.  Since the financial control board was put in place, they've been unable to spend money like drunken, um, Common Council members and had focused on improving city services and our general quality of life.  But just lately they seem to have grown tired of those unglamorous pursuits and are considering more and more silly laws proposed by advocates for this cause or the other -- few of whom ever have any real credentials or proof of their grievances.

We may need to consider yet another control board, one that would simply stand by and feed the Council Prozac whenever they decide to practice their Big-Apple-On-The-Niagara impressions. Let the circus come to town.  In fact, do it for the children and the working families.  They'll thank you.

Too Fat, Too Thin, Ah -- Just Right

CBS News announced this morning that New York State Assemblyman Jose Rivera (Democrat, but then you could have figured that out for yourselves) is proposing to set minimum weight limits for runway models in New York City.  They're too thin, you know.

I suppose this dovetails nicely with legislative efforts already under way to control citizen obesity , i.e. the banning of trans fats.  Really, folks, at some point we have to start laughing out loud and pointing at these people whenever they dare show their faces on the street. 

Net Neutrality For The Government -- Not For Us

The Buffalo News gets it completely backward today in its advocacy of Net Neutrality.

Think of it this way: The Internet has evolved as a public highway, and the big phone and cable companies want to turn it into a toll road. Verizon, AT&T, Comcast and all the big phone and cable providers would become like the Thruway Authority, offering a major and faster highway than Routes 5 or 20, but at a cost.

Network neutrality is a legal safeguard against this kind of pay-as-you-go, pay-as-you-surf Internet.

The Internet is nothing at all like the public highway system.  Taxes don't support it and up until recently, government has kept its dirty hands off it.  The Internet is an incredibly complex, privately-run system which is owned by no single entity but is the creation of millions of individuals and companies.  And it's already a "toll road."  We pay for our access, helloooo?

I'm not crazy about the idea of different tiers of access-speed, but with the evolution of technology it's an idea that someone was bound to come up with.  In the end, what's so disturbing about paying more for higher access speeds?  Look, the federal government's already up to its neck in regulating TV what with worries over Superbowl breasts and making sure that broadcasters give Al Franken rebuttal time to Rush Limbaugh.

The Net Neutrality Act is only one more way for the politicians to get some more power and we just don't need it. 

Getting Out Of The Falls As Fast As Possible

20 years after 65 mph speed limits were once again allowed on interstate highways, they've been approved on the I190 across Grand Island.  I'm certainly glad we studied that big move carefully. 

Buffalo Has A New Nanny

I was reminded today of just how quiet Buffalo's government has become in the last couple years.  And I mean that in the best sense.  Compared to the circus we had a few years ago, our elected representatives today are downright professional.  I suppose that not having the ability to spend all the money they can in the shortest possible time has had a lot to do with that.  But nonetheless, I get the feeling -- from the Mayor's office on down - that City Hall is on my side now and working hard to help this town turn around.

But then along comes our newest Common Council member, Demone Smith, and all the bad old memories came flooding back.

Buffalo restaurants would be banned from using trans fats under a law that will be proposed this week by the city's newest Common Council member.

Eating establishments that use artificial fats are harming people's health, Demone A. Smith of the Masten District said Tuesday as lawmakers met with a group that is lobbying for the ban.

"It's like eating plastic," Smith said of trans fats, which are partially hydrogenated fats.

I don't know if you heard his interview on WBEN this morning or Sandy Beach's show on the topic in the afternoon, but if you did you'll know that the "eating plastic" statement was the most comprehensible thing the guy said.  I mean, have you ever heard George Holt speak?  Well, imagine that without the eloquence and you've heard Demone Smith.

Of course, eloquence is one thing, we're not all excellent speakers.  But the guy sounded as if he had done no research whatsoever into his pet project.  He doesn't know how it would be enforced (the county enforces health laws,) he doesn't know when it would take effect, and he doesn't even know how many restaurants would be affected.

All he appears to "know" is that they've done it in New York City and evidently if it's good enough for them, etc., etc..

Now, many of us remember when saccharine was illegal -- caused cancer you know.  Except then it didn't and we use it freely today.  For years, coffee was alleged to shorten your life, but now some studies show that it may prolong it.  We avoided eggs for a decade but now have realized that they don't actually kill us and recent research indicates that high-fat diets (a la Atkins) aren't really bad for you at all.

Organic food is all the rage these days, but there is that E. coli problem from all that manure and contrary to previous teachings, the demon "red, red wine" may end up helping our hearts.  Being people (as we are) with the capacity to imagine the worst, we are also sometimes prone to adopting premature measures to stop it.   

The jury's still out on trans-fats but absent anything more than intuition and a few anecdotes, should we really be banning it?  Of course not, and new members of the city government looking to make a name for themselves should probably just stick to the tried and true:  make sure the streets get plowed, the police are on patrol and the Common Council is seen but not heard.

Meanwhile the rest of us can continue to have our doughnut (or two) for breakfast and a fish fry for dinner.  We might live longer if we ate raw spinach and free-range eggs, but who really knows?  Trust me, Demone, if your constituents are fat and happy you'll have a much better chance for re-election than you will by legislating how we live our lives.