North Coast Online

An Inconvenient Youth

Cards Say It Best

The Onion can reveal that researchers at Hallmark have identified three new human emotions.

"[Trepatiousness] appears to be a very rare emotion, almost exclusively experienced while in a dream state," said principal investigator Dr. Susan McMurrough, a leader in the field of keepsake science best known for her work on the revolutionary "Blank Inside" line of cards. "The only way to activate it during waking hours, in fact, is with a combination of reds, oranges, and drowsy beagles in top hats."

Deadliest Catch

The lost episodes.

Iron vs. Ice? C'mon

I wonder if Rosie's heard of this site yet -- the Titanic Truth Movement.

On Sophisticated Satire

I'm a huge "South Park" fan as are most of my younger, more with-it co-workers.  But lately a couple of them, who evidently still see the child underneath the gray salt and pepper hair, have been trying to convince me of the "genius" they perceive in "The Family Guy."   They send me email snippets of scripts and insist I watch video clips of past episodes -- they collapsing in laughter while I, um, am not.

Sorry, I'm with Cartman in this controversy.

Then for two episodes of "South Park" last season, Cartman tried to get "Family Guy" canceled.

"I am NOTHING like Family Guy!" Cartman screamed. "When I make jokes, they are inherent to a story! Deep, situational and emotional jokes based on what is relevant and has a POINT! Not just one interchangeable joke after another!"

South Park is much, much deeper. I'm sure that's why I'm attracted to it.  I think Foucault said it best and I think this applies particularly given the recurring sexual themes of the program.

“Sexual identity is meaningless,” says Foucault. It could be said that if submodernist dematerialism holds, we have to choose between precapitalist deappropriation and dialectic narrative. Lyotard promotes the use of prepatriarchialist capitalism to challenge sexism.

The main theme of Tilton’s[12] analysis of Foucaultist power relations is the role of the poet as reader. However, several theories concerning precapitalist deappropriation exist. The subject is contextualised into a Sartreist existentialism that includes consciousness as a paradox.

“Society is fundamentally responsible for capitalism,” says Foucault; however, according to Bailey[13] , it is not so much society that is fundamentally responsible for capitalism, but rather the paradigm, and subsequent genre, of society. But many situationisms concerning the difference between sexual identity and society may be discovered. Lyotard suggests the use of precapitalist deappropriation to read and attack sexual identity.

“Society is dead,” says Bataille. In a sense, the characteristic theme of the works of Madonna is a mythopoetical reality. Scuglia[14] suggests that the works of Madonna are postmodern.

Thus, several discourses concerning prepatriarchialist capitalism exist. Marx’s model of precapitalist deappropriation holds that language serves to reinforce sexist perceptions of class.

I just couldn't get that passage out of my head as I watched the episode where Ike had an affair with his kindergarten teacher.  Remember the scene in the hotel room where she joins Ike in bed (swathed only in a bath towel) and pouts, "But Ike, I want to talk."  And Ike responds, "Me like TV."  It was brilliant.

She, of course, was Madonna -- he, in my reading, Dionysius. I mean, it's obvious, isn't it?  The Family Guy is just meaningless "text" by comparison.

 

Greenhouse Gases

Well, He Is A Writer

Roger L. Simon has a pretty good idea for a TV script.

The All-Knowing Al Gore

Sam Ryskind

Hat tip to Powerlineblog

[UPDATE:] This Rasmussen poll indicates that Al may have jumped the environmental broom with his "documentary."  It shows that only 24% of Americans "consider Gore an expert on Global Warming. A Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey of 1,000 adults found that 47% say he is not an expert on the topic (see crosstabs)."

In fact, just 36% of Americans say that Gore knows what he is talking about when it comes to the environment and Global Warming. Thirty-one percent (31%) say he does not know what he is talking about while 33% are not sure. Women, by a 2-to-1 margin, say Gore knows what he is talking about. Men, by a similar margin, say he does not.

Ah yes, that old global warming gender gap.  If these numbers are accurate then Hillary and Obama may sleep a bit more soundly tonight -- along with most of the rest of us.

Ho's Of The Evening

Chase Me Ladies I'm In The Cavalry admits to a recent encounter with a prostitute.  Well, brags actually.

Had a bit of a cheese and wine evening the other night for a few friends, only I didn’t have any cheese or wine, or friends. So I had a beer and porridge party on my own. It was a great success.

Later I spent an improving couple of hours in an 'executive bar' of almost the maximum seediness. I was sitting there, minding my own beeswax, when this woman comes up and asks if I want to sleep with her. 'Um, OK,' I said. 'Shall we have a conversation first?'

You'll certainly want to . . . Well, you know the drill.

Political Haiku

Here's one example.

Like Hillarycare?
She's "Chavez in a pantsuit."
Your business is next.