I suspect that Jason Feldman, Park School 1994 has something important to say about our health, in fact you can tell that he's passionate on the subject. But his meaning is lost in a forest of buzzwords, jargon, educratese and plain old boilerplate.
A sampling:
- emerging field of population-environment interactions
- at-risk groups
- illness based on gender, income and migration dynamics
- Hispanic Serving Health Profession Schools
- mitigate hazards while supporting the natural systems
A city's vitality requires pedestrian safeguards, health access points, reliable services and a sense of meaningful participation for its residents.
it becomes critical to re-examine our approach to managing human security
integrated emergency preparedness across state and interterritorial water systems
healthy spatial designs foster lifestyle improvements, neighborhood safety and institutional networks.
universal commitment from all
Grade: C-.
The spelling is perfect and the proper rules of punctuation are followed throughout, well done on that score. But tell me what you're trying to say, boy!
This is college catalog crap that ends up explaining nothing. Did no one ever, back in high school, make you write a short news story in language that an eighth grader could understand? If you're writing for your health industry peers, then this might be OK. But when you write for a big-city newspaper, then think back to those eighth-graders because Chaucer's more intelligible than this collection of words.
Get a Thesaurus, rewrite the piece in normal English, try it out on your mom until she can tell you what she thinks you said somewhat accurately and resubmit. No penalty this time and we really are looking forward to hearing your ideas, son -- but this time, in English as she is spoken. Please.
And what the hell are migration dynamics anyway?
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